Thursday, January 11, 2007

Last Year At This Time...

Wow! I can't even believe it, but my "baby" boy is one year old today! It's crazy to think at this time last year, I was at the hospital in labor - especially considering that I wasn't supposed to be (at least in my mind) because it was 3-1/2 weeks before my due date. But then, isn't that how life is - unexpected?

I am so unbelievably blessed to have such a healthy, enthusiastic, joyful, and funny little boy. Brennan has truly changed me this past year. At first I didn't notice it much because I was thrown into the madness that is first-time parenting and newborn care-giving. As I've gotten into my groove though, and as he's grown, I realize some of the changes he's made in me. I'm less selfish because I know now that sometimes when I just want to sit and read my Star Wars book, Brennan has poop in his pants and that's a little more pressing. I think I'm a little more patient because Brennan's schedule somehow doesn't always jive with mine. I'm also more "huggy/kissy." I mean, I can't help wanting to just kiss his chipmunk cheeks every two seconds and sometimes I have to resist squeezing him too hard (I think you parents know what I mean).
However, probably the most profound change has come in my understanding of who God is. As we sojourn on the road of faith, it's ever changing - with forks in the road, speed bumps, road blocks and sometimes smooth asphalt. But through all of these changes, God's love never changes - it's constant and ever-present. That's the kind of love a parent has for their child. No matter what the child does or how frustrated you may get with them when they knock down the CDs for the 50th time, you still love them. If anything this constant love just grows into a more discerning love as you come to understand your child's personality and particular needs.

So as I think back to last year, being in labor, going through all of the hard work, anticipating the arrival of our baby, the excitement when he finally did arrive, and the love I felt for Brennan immediately, I can only praise God for his goodness and faithfulness and be thankful that we have an earthly example of how God loves us.